Thursday, 22 October 2009

Mmmm tea

Yesterday Murdoch helped himself to some Blackcurrant, ginseng & vanilla tea.  Didn't manage to boil the kettle so just had a good chew on the bag.  There is now tea all over my sofa so will therefore be washing the throw for about the 100th time this month.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Highly upsetting experience

I have just been subjected to a lunchtime abs class in the gym.... in front of mirrors!

My stomach podge looks bad enough when standing up, but being forced to watch it ripple and bulge as I crunched was both hypnotic and vile. I think it is a strategic ploy by the trainer to put fatties off eating pie. Well job done, lady, I’m now determined to stop being such an enormous fatty.

Which is proving slightly problematic today. I think I may have an actual illness that is making me ravenously hungry all of the time. In all seriousness, I ate a chicken pasta salad for lunch and was hungry again five minutes later. Thankfully there is a DEARTH of anything nice to eat here in the office. I was forced to eat a cup a soup that had been lurking at the back of my drawer for about 2yrs and it was VILE. And I'm still hungry.

Maybe I’ll eat quite a bit of chocolate to cheer myself up – and wear a very baggy t-shirt to the next session.....

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Hoover FAIL!!!

Came to the realisation yesterday evening that my Hoover is UTTERLY crappy. This stunning revelation occurred as I spent an hour and a half “scrubbing” my carpets with the pet hair removal attachment. Why does the Hoover do such a terrible job without this attachment? I had to empty the container FOUR times, just full of dog hair. It was actually quite disgusting to think that this had been sat in my carpet all this time, despite the fact that I vacuum regularly. Kim and Aggie would have had a field day.

Monday, 19 October 2009


Murdoch has finally made the link in his furry little brain between Marmite on toast (one of his favourites) and the large glass jar left on the kitchen counter.
This leap of intuition was accompanied by a leap of effort and the subsequent gain of the Marmite jar. I got home from running training to find Murdoch sitting in his bed with his guilty look on his face, and a Marmite jar with a severely chewed lid on the sofa.
Determined not to let the hound get away with such thievery I grabbed the jar and put it in his face, stating firmly; “Naughty. NAUGHTY”. Chastisement works better if you are able to keep a straight face while chastising. Tragically I was unable to do so, as the hound managed to completely undermine me. Not his fault bless him, he was desperately trying to keep his end of the bargain by looking all sad and guilty, but his nose let him down . He just couldn’t help sniffing at the jar of deliciousness that I was waving under his nose.....

Friday, 9 October 2009

Scared the ruddy life out of me.,.

The combined stupidity of myself and hound just culminated in a situation where he scared the bejeesus out of me.
I came into the living area to see Murdoch trying to get something out from underneath the sofa. He was using a nose / paw combo, so it was clearly something that he was desperate to get. I thought it might be a spider or something, so didn't want to get too close, but just as I neared the sofa, he got it, pounced and a squirt of red stuff hit the floor. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! What the hell?! What the heeeeelllllllllllllllllll is thaaaaatttt??! As I stood there gibbering, Murdoch hooked out something else from underneath the sofa.
As it turns out, it was an empty punnet. Hound had only stolen some plum tomatoes from the worktop. So not a giant bloody spider or mouse then. Boy did I feel stupid.......