Wednesday, 24 February 2010


Several things have happened recently in this fair town of ours that have raised some interesting ponderings....

Firstly, how on earth is it that I didn't even know that Cheryl and Ashley Cole live here until I saw a million paps lurking outside their front gates yesterday morning?  Even being shown a picture (in Heat magazine) of Ashley coming out of the Godalming Kebab Centre didn't make me realise.  Clearly it is the most newsworthy thing to happen here of recent times - if you search for "Godalming" in Google News, most of the stories feature poor old Cheryl's marital problems.

Secondly, why the hell is it called Godalming Kebab Centre?  Most places just have a kebab shop.  I picture this place having Doner Workshops and seminars on the exact right amount of chillis and garlic mayo to put on a kebab.  Maybe Ashley wasn't texting girls asking to see their kebab, maybe he just wanted them to go get him one.

Thirdly and finally, some breaking Godalming news that is entirely unrelated to the Coles.  I was out running along Catteshall Road this evening when I came across a badger.  A freakin' badger.  Just strolling up the road without a care in the world - until it saw me stampeding up the road when frankly it froze.  I think it may have crapped itself, or that might just have been me.  I'd like to say that I calmly tipped this gracious nocturnal creature a nod but unfortunately that is not the case.  I found myself saying "Aaaaah, badger, badger, badger, BADGER, BADGEEEEEERRRRRRRR" until we both decided to run away.  I think that Cheryl may have handled it a bit better, although possibly if she'd spent a bit more time handling Ashley's badger she might not be in this mess in the first place.