Thursday, 16 October 2014

It's not about weight loss

Today is day 31 and I have successfully completed my Whole30. Hoorah!

I shan't go into detail about the programme, if you don't know what it is, please refer to my halfway point blog here.

The main thing that I've noticed is that no matter how many times you try to explain why you're doing it - it's about resetting your metabolism, cleaning down your system so that when you reintroduce food groups afterwards, you have a clear idea of their effect. It's about examining your relationship with food to better understand why you eat the things you do (addiction, habit) - most people just want to know.....

How much weight have you lost? 

So you try to explain that it's not about weight loss.  It's about resetting your metabolism, cleaning down your system so that when you reintroduce food groups afterwards, you have a clear idea of their effect. It's about examining your relationship with food to better understand why you eat the things you do. Blah blah blah. And they smile and nod and then tell you that you look great, like you've lost a lot of weight. Which is great, it really is. But it is not the point.

So this morning, when I had this conversation with my colleague:

Colleague: "So are you going to go wild in the aisles for dinner tomorrow night?"
Me: "Errrm no. That would have made the last 30 days a bit pointles, wouldn't it."
C: "Would it? Why's that?"
M: "Because the whole idea is to clean your system and then slowly reintroduce foods one by one to see the effect they have on you"
C: "Oh. I thought it was going to be a 'school's out' kind of situation"
M: "No"
C: "Oh."
Me: *quietly goes to ladies loo to BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL*

I wanted to scream.

As a society, we're so obsessed with that number on the scale. On how we look. On what dress size we can squeeze ourselves into.  And really none of that matters a crap.

Which is why I love the friends who have asked me "How do you feel?". Because that's the point.  

And how do I feel?  I feel great.  I didn't really notice that I didn't feel great before, because when you feel that low-level-just-meh all the time, you get used to it.  It's being in the monkey house and not realising that it smells like poo. But you learn it on days 2-4, when you have a killer headache as you experience the caffeine and sugar come down. You realise how powerful those substances are when they leave your body and they are not going to go quietly. They are going to rage, rage against the dying of the light.

You notice it when you have a moment of panic on day 28 about what you might find yourself eating on days 31+ when you "can eat whatever you want" and then have a moment of epiphany when you realise that you could have eaten anything you wanted for the entirety of the Whole30, you've not been locked in a prison cell.  You have simply chosen not to. Doesn't that feel great? To take back control and realise that you can have a packet of crisps, if you want. It doesn't mean you have to feel bad about it, or subsequently eat an entire multipack. You can have a bit of chocolate, if you want to. I bought a slab of this to celebrate the end of my Whole30, chopped it into small sections, had one piece and shared the rest with my colleagues. One piece was enough. What a revelation.

Would I recommend doing Whole30? Well generally I hate to evangelise about things.  I get so annoyed when people who say things like "Have you seen Blah blah film? No?! You have to!". Actually, no I don't have to and I probably won't, so please shut up. So I won't tell you to do it.  I'll just tell you that in doing this, I have taken the first steps to changing my life for the better. The past 30 days have taught me a huge amount, about the food that I eat, about the person that I am.

And if you're the one sat there thinking "It just sounds so hard!", I'll leave you with this from the Whole30 website:

It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Whole30 - the first half

Those of you who know me in real life may find this post unutterably boring, as I've spoken of almost nothing else for the past fifteen days.  So please do feel free to stop reading now. No really, please do. Are they gone?  Good.  Poor devils have already had to put up with me going on and on about this.

Now, for everyone else - SURPRISE! I'm doing Whole30. In case you don't currently have time to click on that link, here is an overview giving you the general idea (if you're really busy, skip through all of the blue text and carry on reading, but if you do have time, do read the information, it explains a lot!).

Think of it as a short-term nutritional reset, designed to help you put an end to unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system.

Certain food groups (like sugar, grains, dairy and legumes) could be having a negative impact on your health and fitness without you even realizing it. Are your energy levels inconsistent or non-existent? Do you have aches and pains that can’t be explained by over-use or injury? Are you having a hard time losing weight no matter how hard you try? Do you have some sort of condition (like skin issues, digestive ailments, seasonal allergies or fertility issues) that medication hasn’t helped? These symptoms may be directly related to the foods you eat—even the “healthy” stuff.

So how do you know if (and how) these foods are affecting you? Strip them from your diet completely. Cut out all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days. Let your body heal and recover from whatever effects those foods may be causing. Push the “reset” button with your metabolism, systemic inflammation, and the downstream effects of the food choices you’ve been making. Learn once and for all how the foods you’ve been eating are actually affecting your day to day life, and your long term health.

The programme also claims that

This will change your life.

We cannot possibly put enough emphasis on this simple fact—the next 30 days will change your life. It will change the way you think about food, it will change your tastes, it will change your habits and your cravings. It could, quite possibly, change the emotional relationship you have with food, and with your body. It has the potential to change the way you eat for the rest of your life. We know this because we did it, and tens of thousands of people have done it since, and it changed our lives (and their lives) in a very permanent fashion.

The physical benefits of the Whole30 are profound. More than 95% of participants lose weight and improve their body composition, without counting or restricting calories. Also commonly reported: consistently high energy levels, improved athletic performance, better sleep, improved focus and mental clarity, and a sunnier disposition. (Yes, more than a few Whole30 graduates said they felt “strangely happy” during and after their program.)

The psychological benefits of the Whole30 may be even more dramatic. Through the program, participants report effectively changing long-standing, unhealthy habits related to food, developing a healthier body image, and a dramatic reduction or elimination of cravings, particularly for sugar and carbohydrates. The words so many Whole30 participants use to describe this place? “Food freedom.”

Finally, testimonials from thousands of Whole30 participants document the improvement or “cure” of any number of lifestyle-related diseases and conditions.

high blood pressure • high cholesterol • type 1 diabetes • type 2 diabetes • asthma • allergies • sinus infections • hives • skin conditions • endometriosis • PCOS • infertility • migraines • depression • bipolar disorder • heartburn • GERD • arthritis • joint pain • ADD • thyroid dysfunction • Lyme disease • fibromyalgia • chronic fatigue • lupus • leaky gut syndrome • Crohn’s • IBS • Celiac disease • diverticulitis • ulcerative colitis

So we've got some pretty bold claims going on right there.  Are they true? Well I can't answer for the programme as a whole, all I can do is share my own personal experience of doing it over the past fifteen days, as recommended by my trainer at the gym.

1.  This takes a crapload of organisation. I mean really. Until you commit to not eating anything with any added sugar of any kind, you truly have no idea how much of the food that is sold in supermarkets contains sugar. Such as bacon. Are you freaking kidding me?! Bacon?! If it doesn't contain sugar, sometimes it contains milk (this is also a no dairy kind of deal). Chorizo?! Whaaaaaaat?! Why the hell is there milk in chorizo? Aaaaanyway, the point is that you have to carefully read absolutely everything that you put in your shopping basket (except loose broccoli, mainly on account of the fact that there are no words on loose broccoli).

2. This takes a crapload of organisation. Seriously. Given that the programme clearly states that if you ingest (even accidentally) any of the forbidden foods, you go hurtling back to day one (can you imagine that happening on day 29? Gah! I'd probably just round it up to 30 at that point), you're pretty much committing to cooking all of your own food for the next 30 days. Because you can't just pop out in your lunchbreak and grab a quick sandwich (no bread allowed and it's probably got freaking sugar in it anyway) and it's tough to eat in a restaurant (you'd sit there asking "Is it cooked in butter? What kind of oil did you use? Is there sugar in the sauce?" until the waiter clubs you to death with the menu).  

To recap, it takes a lot of organisation to do this.  I recommend doing a bulk cook of compliant food that you like and having it ready in the fridge so that you can just grab it and pop it in the microwave.

3. It's possible to get bored of food that you really really like. For example, I really like scrambled egg, with bacon (you can buy it without added sugar, thankfully!) and chopped onions. It's the sort of breakfast that I really look forward to at the weekend. But having eaten it pretty much most mornings for the past fifteen days, it's losing its appeal. So get online and research - there are loads of great resources out there with Whole30 compliant recipes. Check out my Pinterest board as a starting point and Naturally Leah has got this down nicely with some great recipes (I'm trying out the green chicken curry tonight - looks really quick and simple, ideal for a busy work night).

4. Although this isn't really easy, it's not been as hard as I thought it might be. I've had a few moments where I've really missed cheese (mmmmm cheese) but mostly I've been ok and haven't had any major food cravings yet.  That's not to say that it's been a sweet ride.  In fact for days 2-4 I had a really horrible headache.  Three days of full on, pounding headache.  I think that was caffeine and sugar leaving my system and let me tell you, they did not go quietly. 

5. It is worth it.  It's all worth it.  I'm on day fifteen right now and I'm feeling amazing.  I have more energy, I feel sharper, more mentally alert.  I'm getting so much more done, it's incredible.  And (although you're not supposed to weigh yourself) I've lost 12lbs. In fifteen days.  So the first week when I was out networking at work events for two nights, nursing a glass of water when everyone else was enjoying wine and pizza? Worth it.  The constant and excessive pile of washing up that needs doing? Totally worth it.

I'll do another update at the end of the 30 days - watch this space!

PS - in Murdoch news, Murdoch is awesome.

Oh heeeeeeeeeyy!

Monday, 4 August 2014

A History Lesson

Way back when, I used to be seventeen.  Seventeenme had a boyfriend and she thought he was amazing. And he was. Until all of a sudden, he wasn't. That swine dumped Seventeenme, which made her very sad. Then she discovered that he had cheated on her, which made her furious, in that overly dramatic way that only really exists for teenagers.

Seventeenme got over it and they ended up being friends, cautiously at first, but then properly to the point where he came to visit Eighteenme in her first year at university and they had a lovely time.

Life happened, as it tends to do and I didn't see him again for the best part of two decades.

We've been Facebook friends for a few years, so I knew that he'd moved to Canada, got married, had kids and so forth. But we hadn't met up at all in that time. So I was really happy to get a message from him asking if I fancied meeting up for a drink while he was visiting the UK.

I walked into the pub, and even though he had his back to me, I knew immediately that it was him. A jolt of recognition, of familiarity. We hugged and started reminiscing about old times. We talked about who we were then and who we are now (him, separated and healing, me tragically spinsterish and relatively comfortable with it).

As we sat there in the warm summer evening sun, I could see that boy,  Seventeenhim, still there inside the man he is today. And in his reflection, I caught glimpses of Seventeenme and remembered the girl I used to be.

Seventeenme was vibrant and passionate. She cared so much that she administered a full arm swing slap across his face when she found out he cheated on her. I've not cared enough to do that before or since. Time has tempered me, perhaps a little too much.

We're not the same people we were all those years ago. Which is probably for the best, as Seventeenme was a bit of a wanker. But there's still enough of her in me that I could almost hear her sigh regretfully as we parted ways at the end of the night without stealing a kiss.

Wednesday, 4 June 2014


Another blog post to bring my Juneathon effort up to date.

Yesterday, some of the girls at work agreed to do one of these 30 day challenges that seem so prevalent on Facebook at the moment. One of them was me, and I went home clutching a print out of the instructions for the 30 day ab and squat challenge.

Which in all the kerfuffle surrounding dog bathing etc, I completely forgot about until I got into the office this morning to hear two of my friends talking about how they got on.  Oops.

So this evening I did double bubble, and did day one AND day two of the challenge, which involves sit ups, crunches and squats.  The whole affair was made much more fun by Murdoch leaping on me several times as I attempted to do the sit ups and crunches, forcing me to fart at him during the squats in an effort to make him go away.  Didn't work.

But that, as well as the usual dog walking, was my effort for Wednesday 4th June.


Here comes another one, just like the other one.

Did the dog walk first thing in the morning, went to our usual spot just outside Guildford.  We walk there because it's where my dog guy lives, so after the walk I can drop Murdoch off for the day.  As I'm going on holiday on Friday and Murdoch will be staying there, I hadn't planned to put Murdoch in this week, instead having the charming little idea that he'd stay at home, all snuggled up and happy to see me when I came home in my lunch break.  

Unfortunately, Murdoch had other ideas and the little ingrate legged it up the driveway after our walk and sat outside the garage looking desperately hopeful until I used my key and popped him in his usual crate. Traitor.

To make matters worse, I had a text from my dog guy in the afternoon forewarning me that Murdoch had rolled around in something unspeakable.  He'd been hosed off once, and then on the next walk DID IT AGAIN.  Sigh.  

Now one of the nice things about Murdoch is that in the usual way of things, he's quite self cleaning.  So it's been quite literally years since I had to give him a bath.  What a palaver.  I blew the dust off the bottle of dog shampoo, ran the water until it was nice and warm and plonked Murdoch into the bath.  He sat among the bubbles looking glum while I flannelled him off.  At one point he tried to make a break for it, but mostly he sat looking like something out of an RSPCA advert while the water he sat in slowly turned black.

There then followed a sequence of me chasing him around our tiny bathroom with a towel while he tried to shake off all over everywhere.  I'm counting this entire episode as crosstraining.

After this gentle warm up, I went out to meet up with my running group to lead our Tuesday night session, a gentle chatty run up the river to Shalford and then back to Broadwater Park for a total of 3.5 miles.  

And that was Tuesday 3rd June.


I started behind, and behind I remain.  It's now the fourth of June and I'm just writing the blog post for the second.  Dearie me.  Not to worry, I am going to catch up now and will try to keep on top of things for the rest of the month.

So, on Monday 2nd June, I did two dog walks. We went to a different spot for our morning walk - we headed to Blackheath, near Shalford.  It's a lovely walk over the common there, and the dogs were quite excited to be somewhere that we usually only go to at weekends.  So that was all very jolly.

I had planned to go swimming in the evening, but unfortunately I got caught in a canine snuggle trap, which is near impossible to extricate oneself from.  

So just the two dog walks and that will have to do.


Monday, 2 June 2014


I hadn't really planned to take part in Juneathon this year, but my mojo has gone AWOL and I need something to give me a kick up the arse.

So I decided to start by just doing one thing.  So I signed up.  10 minutes ago.  Already feeling a bit behind, but not to worry, I did do some exercise yesterday, 30 lengths of the pool, 20 front crawl and 10 heads up chatty kicking. Ta-dah!

Now the blogging may get a little piecemeal towards the end of this week, as I'm off to large it in Ibiza (Guffaw. I fully expect to be tucked up in bed by 10pm each night with a nice cup of peppermint tea) and I don't think the apartment has wifi.  But nonetheless, I am Juneathoned right up and ready to roll.

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

A New Approach

Yesterday, I decided to write a to be list for 2014 rather than a to do list.  Why? Because it occurred to me that sometimes we get too focused on the things that we do (or could do, or should do), rather than thinking about the things that we are, or want to be.  Or at least I know I do.  I think "oh blow it, I eat too much", but I rarely think about the fact that I'm generally quite kind.

So I'm not making the usual resolutions.  For a start, they have never worked for me.  I've never been any happier as a result of making them, or slimmer, or more well-rounded intellectually.  So I'm not doing it. 

Here's what I am doing.  I'm chucking away the bathroom scales.  I saw this on Twitter the other day.

And it's true.  So I weighed myself today and that will be the last time that I weigh myself until 1st January 2015. During the year in between I'm going to worry less about what I weigh, do things that make me happy and we'll see what happens.  Doesn't that sound fun?

In other news, Murdoch turned nine recently, which was very exciting.  He celebrated by burrowing his way under my duvet and farting excessively.

Happy New Year everyone!